October 23rd, 2009



I have a lot of friends. Many of them female and more then several of them older then me by more then 5 years. I haven't really considered another serious relationship since I broke up with Debbee, mainly because I haven't felt ready to be in one but at the same time I am still attracted to other women. It happens, I'm a guy and God made me that way. Here lately - like the past 3 or 4 months - I've been doing a lot of praying about one of my lady friends that I've found myself strangely attracted toward. I say strangely because of the age difference (it being greater then 10 years). I cannot say that I've ever found myself honestly attracted to a woman of such significant age difference ever before. I've been praying about it because honestly, I would love to find myself in a Godly, lasting relationship with her. I think I have heard God's answer to my prayers, but yet I don't have the boldness yet to do anything about it because I'm scared of what others would think, even though I know that shouldn't matter. I'm also afraid of what she'll say. I know the worst she could say is she's not interested in me that way, but by God that would really sadden me and weird out our friendship, which I don't want to lose. I find her to be a very special, Godly woman and I want to be part of her life.

I really don't know why I'm posting this here, or anywhere for that matter.

Sometimes I wish relationships were a whole lot easier then they are.