September 6th, 2008

trap

My Friend Hypomania

So I've been on my regimen of fish oil (2400mg), resperidone (0.5mg), and Depakote ER (1500mg) for quite a while now. The results are simply amazing. While I've been elated as well as sad, it's been of average intensity. While in general this is a Really Good Thing(™), I do miss the hypo mania associated with the illness. I miss the energy and feeling 10 feet tall and made of seven different types of win held together by win cement. Mainly I miss this because when I was hypo manic, I was getting my work knocked out in a decent amount of time. Here lately, being emotionally stable has killed my energy for working hard. It's not that I don't have the motivation to work hard, I just don't have the stamina and extra 'boost' that I've come to rely on.

I know that I'll eventually probably just get more efficient in how I work, but man, I really, really miss that extra bit of energy. I wish there was some happy medium I could maintain but I know that eventually it has to end, either badly or like it is right now and to be quite honest, I like right now more then I will a full on crash and burn. It's safe, it's still fun, and above all it's healthy.

[tags]health, self, bipolar-disorder, mental health[/tags]

Originally published at Ameliorations 1.0.