September 12th, 2006


My Sister Rocks

By limitedbythesky

Ninja Knights Stats

Formed: 12th September 2006
Split: 10th April 2012
Best Album: ‘Eucharis’ 7/10 in the NME
Best Single: ‘Duras’ 9/10 in the NME (Single of the Week 25th October 2010.)
Records Sold: 35,011,319 in total (5,292,054 albums, 29,719,265 singles).
Reputation: International
Groupies: According to artzamy23, chemchick80 sucks like an overpowered vacuum cleaner.

Ninja Knights Member Profiles


Although they have their critics on both sides of the Atlantic artzamy23’s vocal talent is one Ninja Knights’s’ strongest assets.


Without ever being the focal point of Ninja Knights’s sound, jaldrich2k4’s intricate stylings add depth to the bands music.


For the past couple of years apotheon has struggled with a drug addiction which has been negatively affecting their bass playing skills and their showmanship. A spell in rehab could resurrect apotheon’s career’


mortaine is a solid live performer but fails to add anything too significant to the bands dynamics.


If sanatae steps up the practice a little bit by limiting the amount of time that their finger remains up their asshole they have a chance of becoming a capable musician.

Single Releases

# Title Date
18 Daltonic Dec 2006
14 Orangy Argentic Outsized Hootier Barrios Feb 2007
4 Turbans Minarets Thuyas Bargello Mar 2007
2 Rhodiums Sep 2008
2 Catechus Rebuking Greegree Wotting Acidic Nov 2008
1 Cohered Foulard Nutation Feb 2009
1 Somata Retina Jammies Hornwort Ostium Aug 2010
2 Duras Oct 2010
1 Biradial Portion Oblates Hondas Beddings Shavings Dec 2010
2 Clinked Slamming Jan 2011

Album Releases

# Title Date
21 Eucharis Sep 2006
N/A Puppet Jul 2008
2 Kisses Gelate Compost Iodisms Jun 2010

northern ireland’s worst

You guys make me proud, but damnit apotheon, I told you to kick the habit when I first learned of it, now it's too late. You're fired.

And sanatae...I don't know what to say. I never knew you had a rectum fetish.

Of course the above comments are completely tongue-in-cheek. :-D
  • Current Music
    Duras - Ninja Knights
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Say It Isn't So!

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalked again, a rant by darkknightradic.

playgirl is stalking darkknightradic
playgirl’s REAL name : Shad Brock
playgirl’s REAL DOB : 02nd September 1982
Height :190 cm Weight : 119.1 kg
playgirl has dreamt about you : 7 times
playgirl became interested in you : 05th April 2004
playgirl’s latest dream about you
playgirl and darkknightradic make passionate love on a condom strewn beach in Belgium to the sound of George Michael’s Careless Whisper playing in the distance.
This is how playgirl describes your relationship behind your back
‘I thought it was love. But obviously it wasn’t. darkknightradic told me that never wanted to see me ever again. Suicide is the only option now. Goodbye sweet world.’
playgirl’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
playgirl wouldn’t admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of darkknightradic’s wristwatch
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
playgirl had their tongue pierced just to win your approval.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I love you. Actually I know I love you. The ouijaboard said it was true. It told me to tell you that if you do not reciprocate my love you’ll get an arrow in the head.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 12 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, could you put me through to the police? Hi this is darkknightradic. Yes that is my real name, what’s so funny? I’m ringing to report a serious egging at my home. This psycho I met off the internet came over here just under an hour ago and started pelting my bedroom window relentlesly for what must have been half an hour before our next door neighbours dog came out."
playgirl’s Police File
playgirl is a deeply troubled young man.

Testimonies about playgirl
huzzahuzzah - A daring kleptomaniac
‘playgirl and I never saw eye-to-eye. And I’m glad now we didn’t. What a fucking creep.’
lateda - Rotten heathen
‘Well well, who would have thought it? playgirl a pervert? I knew it all along. They used to watch me getting undressed through my bedroom window every night.’
gafgarian - Pig-hustler
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded darkknightradic really is. I just wish he’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
batpanda - Sister Stabatha
‘playgirl’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’

  • Current Mood
    amused amused
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