January 5th, 2006

happy-me

Times to Remember

So many things have changed since 2001. People have grown older, politicians bolder (and dumber, apparently), relationships with others have grown, changed and or faded. I could forgive you if now you think this is a post about ladytitan. I could even forgive you if think this post is about Leslie. It's not about either, although Jamie has figured prominently in my life these past few years and Leslie was there when I needed a friend, I just wish I hadn't of hurt her like I did. Sometimes though you can't know if someone is right for you until you try dating. Now there is Amy. What can I say about her that won't sound cliche? Or rushed? Or a million other things I cannot think of right now.

I've known her since before I met Jamie. Amy and I actually tried a relationship once before, but distance was once again a destroying factor in our relationship. Part of me right now really hates that (and I'll tell you why in a bit), but another part of me is glad. Why? Because Jamie and I happened. I firmly believe that God brought Jamie and I together to show us both what it takes to maintain a relationship. It doesn't just require a lot of love, but also attention (to detail and each other), faith in each other, understanding, respect, honesty, and other things I cannot describe but know of that a relationship needs. Relationships don't need money, agreement on everything, politics, and everything else we humans put between each other to keep each other apart. The end of Jamie and I's relationship came because while she had all the earthly qualities (smarts, beauty, intelligence, wit, humor, talent, etc.) we didn't have certain other qualities that made us incompatible. I think her tendency to snap at me for no reason was a small sign from God to tell us that while he was happy that we could form such a strong bond with each other, this was a relationship that wasn't meant to go any further. That is something glaringly missing from this rekindling. Something that is glaringly apparent is how well everything we do together goes. As I type this she is happily sleeping behind me. I'd be sleeping too if I could. I'm too awake and happy and ecstatic and every other good emotion to really have the presence of mind to sleep. Such is true love.

edit: Oh yeah, I don't feel the need to hide from anyone anymore.