December 7th, 2000


No Letter

After thinking about it and talking to my friends (not the one I wanted to write the letter to), it seems they all agree that the letter = bad idea...and mayb they are right...maybe I should just ride out the storm since I feel so strongly for her, mayb things will change, I don't know. All I do know is that I'm tired of being alone...that is the only thing that truly scares me anymore, the thought of being alone forever, but that wasn't even on my mind when I met her, much of nothing else but her was on my mind. I even wrote some poems about her, for her, or with her in mind. When one is in this how it is always, afraid you are going to lose someone forever even if you never really had that friend as anything more then a friend? I know I've felt like that quite often, like I was going to lose the one woman I loved above all else (don't even mind the fact that we have never met in person)...and here I was ready to charge off and do just that...lose her when she needs her friends the most...damn this is so freaking confusing...:(
  • Current Music
    "Yours" by Blues Traveller

A Poem

I've decided that I am going to post one poem here everyday (until I run out of poetry to post anyways) starting today. These poems are all original poems by me and all are considered MY intellectual property...if you want to use it on your page, ask me first please.

The Day Has Passed
By Joseph A Nagy Jr

The Day has passed when I felt love
The night has dwindled since I was happy
I try and move on...but I am stuck
I try not to think of her
But the lie is found out by my soul
My mind is not free
Memories of my feelings for her
Memories of how we never spent the day together
Memories...of how we I felt
Memories...of what she said...of what I thought she felt

This tear streaked poem is not one of regret
For I have loved a goddess
And for a while, she loved me
For that I shall ever be thankful for that time
For that brief interruption of perpetual sadness
And now that she is not here I cry over what was
I cry over what could have been
I cry from sadness and from joy
Sadness brought forth by the fact it had to end
Joy brought forth by the fact that it happened

The Day has passed when I felt alone
The night has dwindled since I was unhappy
She who brought joy into my life
She whom I have never met in person
She whose voice I long to hear again
She whose voice I shall never hear again
Whose soft lips will never speak my name
Whose gentle voice will never utter the syllable
She who calls me "her 'Megs"
She whom I call my Kealowa.

This is one of the poems I wrote about my friend, I don't think she has read this one though, at least not yet. I just wish confusion wasn't part of love. I guess thats a good thing though, it keeps you from rushing into things...I guess thats why they say fools fall in love, because to want to be confused is pretty foolish, but wanting to be loved, and to be able to love the one who loves you, that makes it all worth it me thinks.